BOOOO! I got my first speeding ticket!!

Can you believe it? I got my first ever ticket ... and a speeding ticket at that! I'm such an ole granny driver unless I'm driving three of my girls on a Saturday morning for all over body massages. I guess I could blame Lindsey. She's the one who directed me to 3rd East. Yes ... it's all Lindsey's fault! I've never driven on 3rd East and assumed it was a speedy street like 7th East. I didn't realize it was a residential street ... you see ... I could see all the way from 2100 South to South Temple ... certainly this is a freeway! Come on ... no cars in site ... not a car on the street besides us ... laughing and anticipating the massages that we were about to get. Lo and behold there is Officer Chipping riding along my backside. Why is he following me? What's the speed on this street? The girls are sure that he won't pull me over. He's just following me to remind me to slow down ... that's it! Why is he following me for ten blocks? Why is he turning on that 'whoop whoop' sound and flashing his red, blue, and white lights? I pull over and the girls say, "Oh, oh ..."

Officer Chipping comes to the car window ... little guy ... little moustache ... lot of attitude. "I pulled you over for speeding. Were you aware you were going 40 mph in a 25 mph zone?" "No... Oh dear ... I always wanted my tombstone to say, Here lies Linda ... never received a speeding ticket." He didn't laugh ... he didn't even comment ... just asked for my registration and insurance. Lindsey is pawing around the glove box telling me that there's nothing there. I know there's something there. Lynn always puts all the stuff in the glove box. He asks if I have my insurance card with me. I explain that I just had the van inspected and I thought all of the paperwork is still on the kitchen counter. He's not impressed! He tells me to wait and walks back to his car. I find the insurance card and hold it out the window. He ignores me and continues walking to his car.

25 minutes have passed. What in the world is he doing? Is he doing this on purpose ... to make us late for our massages. That's it! What a jerk! It's getting cold. I roll up the window and one of the girls hollers, "Don't leave!" I'm not leaving ... just rolling up my window because I'm cold!

Back he saunters to my car with the dreaded ticket in his hand. I'm only going to site you for 5 mph over the limit. The speed changes from 30 mph to 25 mph at 17th south. (Aha ... he was waiting for me ... the creep.) I ask if I have to go to traffic school. He says no but I can plead something. He's forgotten the term. One of the gals tries to help him remember the term and asks, "Is it insanity?" Another girls hollers, "Don't plead insanity. They'll take your license away." By now we're all laughing and yes ... little Officer Chipping with the most beautiful, blue eyes cracks a smile and even laughs a little bit.

My question is this ... most officers don't even pull you over if you're going 5 mph over the speed limit. If he reduced the ticket to 5 mph over ... why doesn't he save me a trip to the court house and just tear up the ticket?


Brian, Laurel & Addison said...

he's got little man syndrome. plain and simple. Doesn't he have anything better to do on a saturday morning at 8? Seriously, what a turkey.

The Peton's said...

Ha Ha Ha! So funny! It's about time you did something bad! I bet Dad laughed his head off. Yeah, not a good idea to plead insanity.

Movie Mavens said...

Welcome to the speeding club, Lou! :) haha too bad we didn't get our tickets in the same city so we could go to traffic school together!

DJ and Gin Family said...

That is hilarious!!! Bad granny, you're not driving my kids anywhere. Should we just call you Devere? I'm sad that I missed all of the excitement.